What I've been doing instead of writing this newsletter
In an incredible yet entirely unsurprising act of ADHD, I dropped this newsletter on the floor as soon as something shinier started taking up more of my brain space. Honestly I’m not even mad about it, mostly impressed at my consistency.
So, in the interest of getting things back up and going, here’s what I’ve been doing instead of writing this newsletter - both the big stuff and the small:
Filling the calendar
I’ve been working on a number of exciting consulting projects that actually have my schedule fully booked. Having a full-time schedule again feels like a major milestone in this self-employment chapter, not just in terms of workload but also financially. Bonus: I’m collaborating with some truly great humans. Getting to choose who I work with and take on a variety of interesting challenges is exactly the kind of thing I dreamed of when I left my full-time job last fall.
Facing my professional commitment issues
I’ve been navigating the one-foot-in- one-foot-out- moment that I think a lot of folks trying to strike out on their own do. A few tempting opportunities have popped up lately, but I’m realizing that the freedom I’ve created for myself might actually be the job offer I don’t want to give up, even for a title or role that would have made me giddy a couple years ago. As a generally risk-averse person, this realization feels both new and a little wild.
Trying not to spiral into existential dread
Like many I’ve talked to lately, I am living in the uneasy in-between of doing well personally, but being deeply unsettled globally and feeling like maybe we are actually in a cursed weasel timeline. So far, this largely means trying to identify what I do and don’t have control over, working on shoring up my community ties, and threading the needle between my escapist vices and productive activities so as to not fall into a ceaseless doom spiral.
Thinking about writing, not writing, feeling bad, repeating
I’ve got a half-dozen half-written posts sitting in drafts because I keep hitting a wall. I’m realizing that I need to get ahead of the content for the newsletter, otherwise the day arrives and if my brain isn’t braining, or if something else comes up, then getting anything out that day becomes an impossibility. My goal for the near future is to focus on carving out more consistent creative time and also to feed my brain the kind of stuff that generates future thoughts, rather than the aforementioned ceaseless doom spiral.
Singing in public
The spring season of Songbird City Choir wrapped this past Saturday with a sold-out performance! SBCC is a no-audition, SF-based group, and one of my most treasured local communities. I’ve participated in the past three seasons, and watched the group grow from 35 to a 75-person ensemble that packed out our typical venue. I even got a surprise solo to fill a last-minute gap, which was a blast. I’ve also been doing a lot of karaoke and preparing for the showcase at my voice studio. Choir season always kicks off my singing obsession, and since my voice is in solid shape right now, I’m rolling with it.
Working on a Nosferatu jukebox musical in the style of Moulin Rouge
This is only not a bit in the sense that I don’t know how to actually produce a musical.
Watching TV, as always
I finally started Yellowjackets. Yes, I’m late. Yes, it’s excellent. I am admittedly very tired of the “traumatic secrets from the past animate the entire present-day plot” genre but also still here for it, especially with this cast. I’m also watching The White Lotus like everyone else, and really enjoying the official companion podcast - Jia Tolentino is one of my favorite writers and the perfect choice to host.
Forging an uneasy truce with my appendages
I’ve been progressing in my De Quervain’s recovery - thankfully the sprained wrist was just a minor setback and I’m almost up to full function, but I’m still learning how to best spend my daily “hand points” while I rehab and tinkering with the modifications I need to make both to my work schedule and my workspace.
Touching grass
The sun finally came out in San Francisco after a long and dreary winter, and it is hitting like a controlled substance. I am recharging like a lizard on a rock for as long as it lasts (we will pay for this in April I’m sure).
Anyway, more relevant and better-thought-out content is on your way soon. In the meantime, let me know if there’s anything you want to hear about.
Always here to read, at any frequency